What if meme

Rhodent tagged me. Here goes:

The general rules are as follows: from the list of occupations below, select five (5), and write a post on your blog, on how you would perform each, if they were your job. When you are done, add a couple of occupations to the bottom, and ambush five other fellow bloggers to prepare a list.

What if I could be a—

musician?
doctor?
painter?
gardener?
missionary?
chef?
architect?
linguist?
psychologist?
librarian?
athlete?
lawyer?
innkeeper?
professor?
writer?
llama-rider? (Ogre)
bonnie pirate? (Teach)
service member? (Jeremy)
business owner? (Blue 944)
actor? (Blue 944)
agent? (KelBel)
video game designer? (KelBel)
comic book artist? (Stoli)
hooker? (Pollo Loco)
crack addict? (Elizabeth)
porn star? (Elizabeth)
mime? (Garrison)
domestic engineer? (Rick)
chimney sweep? (laine)
masseuse? (laine)
taxi driver? (Brian)
priest? (Brian)
fighter pilot? (Sara)
homeless person? (Sara)
biker? (Walker)
mortician? (Walker)
marine biologist? (DB)
garbageman? (DB)
art critic? (Rhodent)
furniture designer? (Rhodent)
fashion designer? (Rhodent)
high school principal? (Rhodent)
Anthropologist (Julie)
President of the United States (Julie)

1. Librarian. In my public library there would be no internet filters anywhere, not even in the youth department, and I'd have banned and censored books prominently displayed. I'd have a strict privacy policy with respect to records of who checked out what, even for minors. Food would be allowed in the library; in fact, it would have a cafe. I'd run a monthly book discussion group, open to the public. I'd have a huge adult literacy program. And I'd self-indulgently write up readers' advisory lists: "If you liked x book, you might like these, too."

2. Lawyer. My area would be intellectual property; I would rewrite the whole of copyright law. There would be no such thing as a work for hire (that's where you write something at your employer's behest and they own the copyright). You create it, you own it, for as long as you're alive. When you die, your work goes into the public domain. Furthermore, copyright would be inalienable: you can't transfer it to someone else. However, anyone who wants to use your work can. But they must pay you (mandatory licensing).

3. Musician. I'd sing in a choir. We would perform Bach motets. Sigh.

4. Bonnie pirate. Oh, ho ho! Doncha know, a pirate's life is great-so! I wouldn't take baths and I wouldn't take naps and I wouldn't clean my plate-so! Arrrrr!

5. Physical anthropologist/evolutionary biologist. I'd go out in the Kalahari Desert and dig for humanoid fossils. I would find the so-called missing link and shut down those "creationist" and "intelligent design" people for good. Pah!

Ok, there are my five. I think I'm not going to tag five more people, though, 'cause I can't remember who's already done this. If you haven't already, please do!